I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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