Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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