discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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