oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
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