You must be Logged in to post a comment

  • 71 56
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 2, 09 at 6:36pm

    I don't usually call 'em but... FAKE!

  • 66 49
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 2, 09 at 6:42pm

    this is AMAZING!!! This has 'Happy Madison' production written ALL over it.

  • 65 51
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 5, 09 at 1:25am

    Okay, hold up future doctors of America, my sister did this alot when she was younger and she was never abused. She just found out that it felt good, so she did it alot. Dont blame it on disorders. Sometimes kids just do what feels good.

  • 67 66
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 2, 09 at 7:30pm

    I hate to tell all you "fake announcers" that you're wrong, but it's a fact! I teach 2nd grade and have a little girl who does this on the corner of her desk. This is a general ed student....without special needs. I actually try to place her desk between others so she can't get to the corner.

  • 67 73
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 2, 09 at 9:17pm

    obviously this is not from a fellow fifth grader in the class. it's gotta be a student teacher.

  • 69 80
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 2, 09 at 7:18pm

    This kid was molested as a child, for sure.

  • 63 73
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 3, 09 at 1:38pm

    hahaha i third the excitment for an education!!!!

  • 56 60
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 2, 09 at 7:55pm

    could be a teacher and the kid is in his/her class

  • 59 69
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 2, 09 at 6:30pm

    sounds like you're just jealous

  • 57 66
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 2, 09 at 8:13pm

    Exactly, 7:56. It seems fairly obvious to me that this text was sent by a teaching assistant, NOT one of the fifth grade students, as people seem to be assuming O_O

  • 58 69
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 2, 09 at 7:39pm

    Fuck I've literally had over 40 unknown errors

  • 49 58
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 2, 09 at 7:01pm

    oooh boy. thats rough. but isn't that an actual condition? plus its oddly reminiscent of super bad.

  • 39 39
    Submitted by gypsyflipsy on Feb 9, 11 at 6:41pm

    i even did the same thing in kindergarden. hahahaha

  • 52 65
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 21, 10 at 11:16pm

    Yay for elementary teachers, few professions have such unique stories and convenient work schedules. Bouncers and nurses you know what I'm talking about

  • 57 76
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 2, 09 at 7:55pm

    cant a guy masturbate in peace?

  • 54 71
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 3, 09 at 12:40am

    As a fellow teacher, I can assure all those calling 'fake' that this isn't even surprising enough to elicit a raised eyebrow. It happens -- a colleague has the same issue in a sixth-grade class -- hopefully the parents will get the kid to a doc to rule out serious issues and start talking about appropriate behavior with the child.

  • 45 53
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 2, 09 at 10:34pm

    I had one of those in class my 1st year teaching. 7th grade. He did it ALL the time. The VP had a special candy dish just for him . . .

  • 45 54
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 2, 09 at 11:15pm

    infants touch themselves for gratification. really, Kluver-Busey? how about the kid just likes to feel good and since he's 10 hasn't learned or been properly taught about appropriateness/privacy, or he's been abused. Because a lesion to his pyriform cortex is far more likely than his uncle diddling him.

  • 51 67
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 2, 09 at 6:38pm

    true story, this is a condition

  • 46 57
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 2, 09 at 6:33pm

    youve got chronic smokers, and down the road, you have chronic masturbators! aha nice 632

  • 56 79
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 3, 09 at 7:15pm

    8:40, Really? I second 10:40

  • 46 59
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 2, 09 at 7:56pm

    the person who sent the text might not be a student in the class, he/she might be a student teacher who plans on working at a middle school

  • 46 60
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 3, 09 at 10:40am

    um, 8:40? who really cares if someone says your instead of you're? if you're gonna corrects one person's spelling, correct them all, dumbshit.

  • 54 76
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 3, 09 at 12:14am

    this should be on fml not tfln

  • 46 61
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 17, 10 at 7:33pm

    WHAT A PRO

  • 48 66
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 2, 09 at 7:43pm

    Ok my lil cuz. is in 6th grade and almost everyone has a cell phone, so 7:00 its normal

  • 52 74
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 2, 09 at 6:31pm

    I'd be willing to bet my ex had the same problem when he was that age...

  • 45 61
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 6, 10 at 9:57am

    When is was in 11th grade there was this guy that did that. It was gross and of course really creepy to all us girls, but now when I think about it I can't help feeling bad for him

  • 55 81
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 2, 09 at 9:39pm

    i masturbated as a kid in like 2nd grade. had a normal homelife. i'm not SPED and i grew out of it by fifth grade. didnt make me messed up either, but i didnt do it in class..lol

  • 50 72
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 3, 09 at 10:07am

    5th grade? whaaaaaaa

  • 49 70
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 2, 09 at 7:49pm

    i didnt have a cell till the 8th grade and i couldnt text on it and i didnt use it very much not till i got to the 9th grade then this year my 11 grade year it exploded into textin any ways now im a snior and ill gets loads of text.... from guys

  • 47 68
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 2, 09 at 9:33pm

    aw maybe he's just excited about learning.. ..

  • 54 82
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 2, 09 at 7:59pm

    this is only amusing in a tragic sort of way. lets stick to the i-fucked-a-stranger texts, kthx.

  • 50 75
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 3, 09 at 12:54pm

    just because a child masturbates in inappropriate places does not mean they've been sexually abused. there are many disorders that lead to this happening that are not based on abuse. Just becuase something is unusual does not mean we should scream abuse.

  • 34 44
    Submitted by Alisaz on Nov 14, 11 at 2:14am

    Follow your heart.

  • 41 58
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 5, 09 at 1:36am

    infants touch themselves for gratification. really, Kluver-Busey? how about the kid just likes to feel good and since he's 10 hasn't learned or been properly taught about appropriateness/privacy, or he's been abused. Because a lesion to his pyriform cortex is far more likely than his uncle diddling him. ... DR HOUSE?!?!?!

  • 51 79
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 3, 09 at 5:01am

    3:43 your a fucking idiot. it's fuck my life. holy shit.

  • 41 59
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 2, 09 at 9:32pm

    Yeah this def isn't from a student, and how the hell can you get carpeltunnel from masturbating???

  • 42 62
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 2, 09 at 6:46pm

    I'm a student teacher for a special needs class, and one of the kids I shadow does nothing but hump the floor all day long. Been there.

  • 55 88
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 2, 09 at 6:30pm

    i bet if you videotape that you could make some money. i personally wouldnt watch it, but there are people who would, michael jackson for starters

  • 48 76
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 5, 09 at 7:49am

    I think my cousin sent this in. She told me a similar story and she teaches in 717. She also had a 5th grader defecate in the sink.

  • 43 66
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 2, 09 at 7:37pm

    this seems a lot more like an fml kinda thing than a text...don't get me wrong its amusing, but its kinda lengthy and about something serious, depressing, and creepy as all hell. these are supposed to be drunk/high texts (or so i thought), not paragraphs about creepy kids

  • 45 74
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 3, 09 at 8:40am

    5:01, you're a wanker who can't spell, don't get so worked up.

  • 48 80
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 2, 09 at 11:01pm

    Ok people cut this kid some slack... its entirely possible that he has a lesion in his limbic system that has given him Kluver-Busey Syndrome... of which hypersexuality is a symptom... just a thought...

  • 54 93
    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 20, 09 at 7:19pm

    people like 12:08 and the others before him/her are fucking idiots and havent read any of the thread. IT WASNT A FIFTH GRADER WHO POSTED IT! its obviously a student teacher or a teacher's assistant of some sort.

  • 47 79
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 2, 09 at 8:56pm

    i masturbate in public at 22

  • 44 74
    Submitted by Hitlers_Bitch on Jul 25, 10 at 2:34am

    Well then do your work and let him finish

  • 52 91
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 2, 09 at 10:57pm

    If this was true, the teacher wouldn't tell you that. Funny, but so fake

  • 53 94
    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 4, 09 at 12:08am

    Wow super fake. What fifth grader says that, gets what it means, texts it and then submits it on TFLN? Bullshit. If they had of of said the kid was like a ninth grader or higher, it might have been believable.

  • 41 70
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 3, 09 at 12:43pm

    1101 was super excited to make use of his/her intro to psych knowledge.

  • 52 92
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 2, 09 at 6:33pm

    if you say "lol" you should be shot in the face.

  • 50 89
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 3, 09 at 2:41pm

    i'm a nymphomaniac. When I was little I swam by the jets in the pool and never left them.

  • 45 79
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 2, 09 at 11:44pm

    Really? There's 5th graders on this site. Son of a bitch....

  • 41 71
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 2, 09 at 8:01pm

    doesnt he ever get carpeltunnel??

  • 42 74
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 2, 09 at 10:46pm

    Many Children masturbate in private, most that do it in public after the age 6-7 are disturbed in one way or any other...

  • 42 76
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 2, 09 at 8:47pm

    children that masturbate at a young age usually have a chaotic home life and it's a way for them to self-sooth but there's lot of possible reasons why he would do this. I'd get pissed if I had to deal with that kid tho.

  • 37 68
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 5, 09 at 8:13pm

    @June 3, 2009 12:54PM: it's better to be safe than sorry and potentially prevent a child from suffering sexual abuse. and if it ends up being untrue at least it wasn't true and unchecked.

  • 36 66
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 2, 09 at 11:32pm

    10:57, if this is a student-teacher posting then yes the teacher would likely tell him or her that.

  • 41 76
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 2, 09 at 10:37pm

    9:39 - i was that way too. i started probably around age four or so.

  • 42 79
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 2, 09 at 6:36pm

    If you say someone should be shot in the face, you should be shot in the face. Look at what your paradox-creating ass did.

  • 41 80
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 2, 09 at 7:22pm

    I had a 5th grade SPED kid who did the same thing. It happens.

  • 40 82
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 2, 09 at 9:15pm

    I taught a kid like that once. I referred to him as R***** the Humper.

  • 39 82
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 3, 09 at 9:14am

    9:33 ! excited about getting an education....let's go with that.

  • 42 88
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 2, 09 at 6:32pm

    heyy, i was a masturbator, still am, so im not a hypocrite. EVERYONES GOTTA CRANK ONE OUT SOMETIME!! LOLL

  • 36 78
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 2, 09 at 9:13pm

    poor kid, something aint right there

  • 45 98
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 2, 09 at 7:00pm

    ...you have a cell phone in the 5th grade?

  • 35 86
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 2, 09 at 6:36pm

    Maybe he/she just likes you :)