Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
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2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
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It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
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