just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
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I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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