even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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