please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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