i think my mom watched the whole time
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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