this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Such a big mess for such a small penis
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize