My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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