Heybabeimwearingurpanties
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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