So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
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just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
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Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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