Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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