come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Randomize