dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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