I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
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