Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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