This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize