I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize