I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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