so that wasnt chicken after all
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize