ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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