It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
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We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
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I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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