I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize