You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize