Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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