You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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