I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
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He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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