Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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