I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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