This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize