She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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