Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
You left your phone here
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