How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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