Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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