never play flip cup with pint glasses
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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