what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize