my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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