She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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