He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
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I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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