STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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