is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Randomize