I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
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