...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize