I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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