So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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