my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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