I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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