i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
How does it feel to date your dad?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize