My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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