There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize