how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
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For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
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Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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